What am I?

It just dawned on me yesterday that I am rather unsure of my current title.  I mean everyone has a title, in fact, most of us have many titles.  I currently operate under wife, mom, sister, auntie, daughter, granddaughter, neice, friend, the list goes on and on.  But professionally, what am I?  I used to be quick to say I was a nursing student - the dark circles under my eyes and the stressed out look on my face easily backed me up.  Yesterday, I realized that I am no longer a nursing student.  I joked with a friend that the only truth I can speak when someone asks me what I do is to respond "I am unemployed!"  Eeek!  No one ever wants to admit that their title is "unemployed".  So, right now, from a professional standpoint, the only thing I can state truthfully to describe my status is "unemployed unlicensed nurse".  How did I go from magna cum laude graduate to unemployed unlicensed nurse?  Talk about riches to rags. Once I pass my boards I will be able to proudly sign Michele Pearce, RN.  Can't do that yet.  I guess for now, all I can manage is Michele Pearce, UUN for unemployed unlicensed nurse. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

What is with titles anyway.  I often grab business cards from nurses or other health care professionals and they have more letters after their name than they do in the name itself.  What is with all these certifications?  I often think it is a contest to see how many letters you can put after your sign your name.  Half the time I have to google search what they even mean and I get lost in the proverbial alphabet soup.  It all seems kind of silly.  I mean, RN is a big one.  Or MD, or DDS, or DVM.  A lot of work goes into earning those letters.  It's the certifications that get me - just because you went to a weekend seminar in Los Angeles and sat playing Candy Crush on your iPhone while speaker after speaker rambled on about some new fangled therapy - you can add a few extra letters after your name.  I could easily market myself as Michele Pearce, UUN, DW, SM, BSE, AE, DD, DGD.   No one would know that the DW is for devoted wife, the SM is for Super Mom, the BSE is for Best Sister Ever, the AE is for Auntie Extraordinaire, the DD is for Darling Daughter and the DGD is for dear granddaughter.  Everyone would just say "Wow, she must be really smart and important!"

While that is all quite clever, but rather ridiculous, I guess for now I will just walk briskly with my head down pretending not to notice those familiar to me so I can avoid the question "So what are you up to?" because unemployed unlicensed nurse is not music to my ears.  21 days to my boards. . .